Sunday, March 21, 2010
Realise I've been blogging very frequently lately? Thats a sign of stress and escape. An excuse for not doing work. LOL
So randomly I viewed the bday video that Lam prepared for Jac. Made me realise how long our frenships have been. 9 years and still counting. Indeed its a blessing to have such long-lasting frenships. Maybe the feeling is no longer the same as it first started, but still, its a proud thing to proclaim!
Those jokes that we've cracked, they were at least 7 years old. But they are still as fresh as thou they were just recently heard. LOL, I hope we will always rmb them and talk and laugh abt them many years down the road.
BLMs rock. No matter wat.
To GG#01: The GG Committee was established when we were at the bus stop opposite NAS (not sure if u still rmb). But anyway, I was proud (yes, I'm very proud) to write ur name as my character referee + to write that we've known each other for 9 years!! Assuming we are only 21 years old (which we really are), thats like 43% of our life so far. One day when we are 100 years old, it would be 88%. WOOHOO hosei sia! :)
So randomly I viewed the bday video that Lam prepared for Jac. Made me realise how long our frenships have been. 9 years and still counting. Indeed its a blessing to have such long-lasting frenships. Maybe the feeling is no longer the same as it first started, but still, its a proud thing to proclaim!
Those jokes that we've cracked, they were at least 7 years old. But they are still as fresh as thou they were just recently heard. LOL, I hope we will always rmb them and talk and laugh abt them many years down the road.
BLMs rock. No matter wat.
To GG#01: The GG Committee was established when we were at the bus stop opposite NAS (not sure if u still rmb). But anyway, I was proud (yes, I'm very proud) to write ur name as my character referee + to write that we've known each other for 9 years!! Assuming we are only 21 years old (which we really are), thats like 43% of our life so far. One day when we are 100 years old, it would be 88%. WOOHOO hosei sia! :)
Saturday, March 20, 2010
My 1st post in 18 Feb 2006.
Over 4 years, I've accumulated some 251 entries (excluding this one).
Reading those archived entries is really an interesting thing to do. All of a sudden, I feel myself being brought back to the good old days in TJ. For most of the entries, I could visualise the exact scenario that the events took place and when and where the entries were being posted.
Its been more than 3 years since I left TJ, and today, I truly believe that I've spent the happiest days of my life there.
All the while, I have enjoyed studying what I studied in TJ (perhaps minus the memorising of the bio stuff and the SPAs).
I still rmb that I liked chem and maths a lot.
I still rmb I were on very friendly terms with my tutor.
I still rmb how that Ah Chong kept calling me. YUCKS.
Studying was really a bliss in a non-competitive envt.
I enjoyed my CCA..pretending to do sth constructive in SCICO but end up doing nth actually.
I too enjoyed the bus 67 rides home after Physics S and SCICO with zj.
Back then, thou we were physically bounded by the dirty-green uniform, we were spiritually freed from the many responsibilities and troubles. No work was ever too difficult to handle back then. Or even if there were, you knew that u were not alone. Unlike the present, where you are supposed to face whatever being thrown to you, be it good or bad, alone. Yes, you have frens around. But they may not feel what you are feeling like the way my classmates used to do, cos of their bkgd or intellectual development. Afterall, they don't even share the same timetable as you.
Nobody is there to monitor your grades and tell you what you shd study and what you shdn't.
Nobody is there to mark attendance when the clock strikes 830am.
Nobody cares whether you are even there in the classroom or not.
There is no warmth in the cold TRs and LTs. Pple leave almost immediately when the class ends, and before you know it, you're out of class and walking around somewhere, alone.
Independence comes with a heavy price called responsibilities. Assignments one after another. Exam dates are smashed right onto your face when you planned your timetable. YOU are supposed to do your own time management. YOU are supposed to know what to do, when to do what and how to do. Isn't it tiring?
Undoubtedly, life in TJ was the best.
Over 4 years, I've accumulated some 251 entries (excluding this one).
Reading those archived entries is really an interesting thing to do. All of a sudden, I feel myself being brought back to the good old days in TJ. For most of the entries, I could visualise the exact scenario that the events took place and when and where the entries were being posted.
Its been more than 3 years since I left TJ, and today, I truly believe that I've spent the happiest days of my life there.
All the while, I have enjoyed studying what I studied in TJ (perhaps minus the memorising of the bio stuff and the SPAs).
I still rmb that I liked chem and maths a lot.
I still rmb I were on very friendly terms with my tutor.
I still rmb how that Ah Chong kept calling me. YUCKS.
Studying was really a bliss in a non-competitive envt.
I enjoyed my CCA..pretending to do sth constructive in SCICO but end up doing nth actually.
I too enjoyed the bus 67 rides home after Physics S and SCICO with zj.
Back then, thou we were physically bounded by the dirty-green uniform, we were spiritually freed from the many responsibilities and troubles. No work was ever too difficult to handle back then. Or even if there were, you knew that u were not alone. Unlike the present, where you are supposed to face whatever being thrown to you, be it good or bad, alone. Yes, you have frens around. But they may not feel what you are feeling like the way my classmates used to do, cos of their bkgd or intellectual development. Afterall, they don't even share the same timetable as you.
Nobody is there to monitor your grades and tell you what you shd study and what you shdn't.
Nobody is there to mark attendance when the clock strikes 830am.
Nobody cares whether you are even there in the classroom or not.
There is no warmth in the cold TRs and LTs. Pple leave almost immediately when the class ends, and before you know it, you're out of class and walking around somewhere, alone.
Independence comes with a heavy price called responsibilities. Assignments one after another. Exam dates are smashed right onto your face when you planned your timetable. YOU are supposed to do your own time management. YOU are supposed to know what to do, when to do what and how to do. Isn't it tiring?
Undoubtedly, life in TJ was the best.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Today I gotta know myself a lil' bit more.
I realise I really hate to study, hate to use my brain, hate to do lab, hate to write codes. I like to do nth that requires brain work.
There are so many things that I can't wait to do...
I can't wait for lab to end.
I can't wait to get out of school.
I can't wait for the codes to drop from the sky.
I can't wait to get some brain cells from some smart geeks and put them in a host cell and see them multiply and override the lazy and stupid brain cells that I've got.
I can't wait to finish this EMG report that I'm now working on, so that I can go and sleep, and dream of waiting no more for those things that I can't wait to do.
I realise I really hate to study, hate to use my brain, hate to do lab, hate to write codes. I like to do nth that requires brain work.
There are so many things that I can't wait to do...
I can't wait for lab to end.
I can't wait to get out of school.
I can't wait for the codes to drop from the sky.
I can't wait to get some brain cells from some smart geeks and put them in a host cell and see them multiply and override the lazy and stupid brain cells that I've got.
I can't wait to finish this EMG report that I'm now working on, so that I can go and sleep, and dream of waiting no more for those things that I can't wait to do.
Friday, March 12, 2010
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A VERY LONG POST. READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL.
Today is officially a happie day, cos I've finally passed my driving test. FINALLY is the word. I opened my account on 19/10/07, took my BTT on 04/01/08, FTT on 18/03/08, 1st PT on 18/12/08, 2nd PT on 14/07/09, 3rd PT on 14/12/09, and today my 4th and also the last PT on 12/03/10. Looking back, its been more than 2 years. Its such a long and expensive journey, and I'm glad I've finally reached the destination.
This journey was definitely not easy. Learning sth is never easy in the 1st place. I don't regret my decision to learn driving, but I regretted joining as a private student. It was definitely a wrong move. Indeed one man's meat is another man's poison. While some may find private instructors good, some may find otherwise. And recently, I realised I belonged to the latter. I should have gone to school earlier.
Those 8 lessons in the CDC's car gave me a different perspective. It made me realise how much i dislike those "uncles"..how much i despise their un-professionalism, how much i loathe their attitude and how much I just simply hate them and their cars. A student's failure is correlated to the teacher's skills in one way or another. I do blame myself for making those mistakes in the previous attempts, but I blamed that idiotic guy even more for not teaching me well.
I'm not trying to mean anything, I'm just expressing how and what I truly feel.
I'm glad to have a good start this time round. I think I was just lucky to have Eric as my 1st instructor, cos he practically made everything right for me. He made me feel that driving isn't that difficult afterall. (BUT it is still very difficult). He might not be the best in the whole CDC, but to me, he's nice, even his car was good too. I always feel that all the other cars felt wrong and only his car was correct. In any case, my test car was some other car thou.
Today i was zamn nervous. I dunno why, its my 4th attempt already. I should be nonchalant abt it already. On the contrary, I was so nervous. Luckily Kenneth was around to calm me down. I dun undstd why would Eric badmouth him, even in his sms, it appears to me that he didnt like me to ask abt Kenneth. I thot he was ok?..maybe its some personal feud b/w them, which i can't be bothered.
Anyway, once i started the test, the nervousness went away. I thot I did perfectly fine in the circuit, but still i was "awarded" 8 points for not confirming safety during my parking. Oh well, what can I do? But I swear I did check.
I didn't do a U-turn...I was puzzled. This morning my warm-up officer said that no U-turn != fail, but I refused to believe him. That was why I was puzzled and scared. The first person I met when i pulled up at the yellow box was Kenneth. He asked if i pass/fail. I shrugged my shoulders. I had no idea at all. I was so worried I had already gotten an immed. failure, thats why everything ended so soon. I was very scared.
Went up, I could feel my heart beating VERY LOUDLY! It was a long wait for him to print the results slip. Many thoughts were running thru my head at that time. I was going thru what I would do if i fail again..blah blah blah. So he was done, we sat down and he started scolding me. SO LOUDLY that I thot everyone in the room could hear him loud and clear. He scolded me for driving as if I was still learning. He scolded me for not moving off until someone decided to honk me. He scolded me for..... I can't rmb. I only rmb him saying that if he were to be more stringent, I wouldn't have passed. And he asked if this was my 1st attempt even thou he saw the 3 previous test dates on the 3 previous PDLs. He was really really very fierce!!! Ng Seh Hock is his name. How can I ever forget.
When I went down, I met Kenneth again. He thot I failed again, cos I was holding on to my PDLs..but those were the prev ones. LOL. He said that I got one of the worst testers..and apparently he was in a good mood since he decided to pass me. Many times before, he pointed out to me that tester's face, but I always missed it for some reason or other. And it so happened that its that same tester who tested me. -.-"
Things seemed to happen in a trance after that. basically its just procedures..to take passport size photo, to apply for new license, to watch safety video.
I seriously was prepared to fail this time. I didn't even bother to bring a photo or enough cash to pay for anything. But I'm glad to have passed, really, its been dragging for so long. The time and money and effort and stress and brain cells and tears and everything.
I smile as I finally put a full-stop to them. :)
Today is officially a happie day, cos I've finally passed my driving test. FINALLY is the word. I opened my account on 19/10/07, took my BTT on 04/01/08, FTT on 18/03/08, 1st PT on 18/12/08, 2nd PT on 14/07/09, 3rd PT on 14/12/09, and today my 4th and also the last PT on 12/03/10. Looking back, its been more than 2 years. Its such a long and expensive journey, and I'm glad I've finally reached the destination.
This journey was definitely not easy. Learning sth is never easy in the 1st place. I don't regret my decision to learn driving, but I regretted joining as a private student. It was definitely a wrong move. Indeed one man's meat is another man's poison. While some may find private instructors good, some may find otherwise. And recently, I realised I belonged to the latter. I should have gone to school earlier.
Those 8 lessons in the CDC's car gave me a different perspective. It made me realise how much i dislike those "uncles"..how much i despise their un-professionalism, how much i loathe their attitude and how much I just simply hate them and their cars. A student's failure is correlated to the teacher's skills in one way or another. I do blame myself for making those mistakes in the previous attempts, but I blamed that idiotic guy even more for not teaching me well.
I'm not trying to mean anything, I'm just expressing how and what I truly feel.
I'm glad to have a good start this time round. I think I was just lucky to have Eric as my 1st instructor, cos he practically made everything right for me. He made me feel that driving isn't that difficult afterall. (BUT it is still very difficult). He might not be the best in the whole CDC, but to me, he's nice, even his car was good too. I always feel that all the other cars felt wrong and only his car was correct. In any case, my test car was some other car thou.
Today i was zamn nervous. I dunno why, its my 4th attempt already. I should be nonchalant abt it already. On the contrary, I was so nervous. Luckily Kenneth was around to calm me down. I dun undstd why would Eric badmouth him, even in his sms, it appears to me that he didnt like me to ask abt Kenneth. I thot he was ok?..maybe its some personal feud b/w them, which i can't be bothered.
Anyway, once i started the test, the nervousness went away. I thot I did perfectly fine in the circuit, but still i was "awarded" 8 points for not confirming safety during my parking. Oh well, what can I do? But I swear I did check.
I didn't do a U-turn...I was puzzled. This morning my warm-up officer said that no U-turn != fail, but I refused to believe him. That was why I was puzzled and scared. The first person I met when i pulled up at the yellow box was Kenneth. He asked if i pass/fail. I shrugged my shoulders. I had no idea at all. I was so worried I had already gotten an immed. failure, thats why everything ended so soon. I was very scared.
Went up, I could feel my heart beating VERY LOUDLY! It was a long wait for him to print the results slip. Many thoughts were running thru my head at that time. I was going thru what I would do if i fail again..blah blah blah. So he was done, we sat down and he started scolding me. SO LOUDLY that I thot everyone in the room could hear him loud and clear. He scolded me for driving as if I was still learning. He scolded me for not moving off until someone decided to honk me. He scolded me for..... I can't rmb. I only rmb him saying that if he were to be more stringent, I wouldn't have passed. And he asked if this was my 1st attempt even thou he saw the 3 previous test dates on the 3 previous PDLs. He was really really very fierce!!! Ng Seh Hock is his name. How can I ever forget.
When I went down, I met Kenneth again. He thot I failed again, cos I was holding on to my PDLs..but those were the prev ones. LOL. He said that I got one of the worst testers..and apparently he was in a good mood since he decided to pass me. Many times before, he pointed out to me that tester's face, but I always missed it for some reason or other. And it so happened that its that same tester who tested me. -.-"
Things seemed to happen in a trance after that. basically its just procedures..to take passport size photo, to apply for new license, to watch safety video.
I seriously was prepared to fail this time. I didn't even bother to bring a photo or enough cash to pay for anything. But I'm glad to have passed, really, its been dragging for so long. The time and money and effort and stress and brain cells and tears and everything.
I smile as I finally put a full-stop to them. :)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
How gracious are people in Singapore today?
IF one fine day, u happen to talk very loudly over the phone on the MRT, and a gal sitting next to you happen to ask you to lower your volume politely. How would you react?
A. Say sorry and lower your volume.
B. Lower your volume.
C. Turn around and scold the person for being a busybody.
THAT very fine day, I happened to be that gal. I didnt mean to be a busybody as in option C, but I really was trying to read my notes (cos i ponned my lect). Despite stuffing my earphones with a mildly loud mp3 being played, I could still hear the the monologue that this guy next to me was having. I took many glances at the pple around me, and I could tell that they all found him speaking quite loudly.
Of cos, I'm only normal, so I'm a KPO. But he kept repeating his lines that I really got bored with what he was talking about. Besides, he was using vulgarities + his English was terrible. He sounded like he's a Msian or HongKie. For sure, he's younger than me.
From his content and tone, i INFERRED that he was pissed off with this gal for misusing his trust and suspecting that he would betray her. He was also angry with her cos he spent some 500mins (which was equivalent to 8hrs he said) playing some game for her, and it turned out that she was quite unappreciative of his efforts.
Anyway, so i decided to use my hp, and text the following line "Do you mind lowering ur voice pls?" I tilted my phone in a subtle way, such that he would be able to see wat i typed, and I returned to my notes almost immediately.
It caught me by surprise when he chose option C and replied "This is not a library, I do not have to keep my volume down. You have no right to order me to keep quiet..blah blah blah". I did not respond at all. Cos i wanted to let pple have the impression that he's a lunatic. My eyes were glued at my notes all the time, and I had every reason to ignore him since I was listening to my mp3, I pretended not to hear him.
After he hung up, once in a while, he would utter the same lines. But again, he caught not even the slightest of my attention.
From the corner of my eyes, I could feel that pple were switching their glances between him and me. But there was no need for me to care. I presumed the conclusion that the other commuters got was that, that guy really was crazy. LOL.
Anyhow, this incident really was unexpected. Maybe I really deserved to be scolded for being a nosey parker. But putting myself in his shoes, if someone were to do the same thing as I did, I would be so embarrassed, and would react as in option A. It would never cross my mind to do what he had done, seriously. Thats why I wonder..how gracious are the people in Singapore today?
IF one fine day, u happen to talk very loudly over the phone on the MRT, and a gal sitting next to you happen to ask you to lower your volume politely. How would you react?
A. Say sorry and lower your volume.
B. Lower your volume.
C. Turn around and scold the person for being a busybody.
THAT very fine day, I happened to be that gal. I didnt mean to be a busybody as in option C, but I really was trying to read my notes (cos i ponned my lect). Despite stuffing my earphones with a mildly loud mp3 being played, I could still hear the the monologue that this guy next to me was having. I took many glances at the pple around me, and I could tell that they all found him speaking quite loudly.
Of cos, I'm only normal, so I'm a KPO. But he kept repeating his lines that I really got bored with what he was talking about. Besides, he was using vulgarities + his English was terrible. He sounded like he's a Msian or HongKie. For sure, he's younger than me.
From his content and tone, i INFERRED that he was pissed off with this gal for misusing his trust and suspecting that he would betray her. He was also angry with her cos he spent some 500mins (which was equivalent to 8hrs he said) playing some game for her, and it turned out that she was quite unappreciative of his efforts.
Anyway, so i decided to use my hp, and text the following line "Do you mind lowering ur voice pls?" I tilted my phone in a subtle way, such that he would be able to see wat i typed, and I returned to my notes almost immediately.
It caught me by surprise when he chose option C and replied "This is not a library, I do not have to keep my volume down. You have no right to order me to keep quiet..blah blah blah". I did not respond at all. Cos i wanted to let pple have the impression that he's a lunatic. My eyes were glued at my notes all the time, and I had every reason to ignore him since I was listening to my mp3, I pretended not to hear him.
After he hung up, once in a while, he would utter the same lines. But again, he caught not even the slightest of my attention.
From the corner of my eyes, I could feel that pple were switching their glances between him and me. But there was no need for me to care. I presumed the conclusion that the other commuters got was that, that guy really was crazy. LOL.
Anyhow, this incident really was unexpected. Maybe I really deserved to be scolded for being a nosey parker. But putting myself in his shoes, if someone were to do the same thing as I did, I would be so embarrassed, and would react as in option A. It would never cross my mind to do what he had done, seriously. Thats why I wonder..how gracious are the people in Singapore today?
Friday, March 05, 2010
Probably this is not fresh anymore, but yes, i do feel very much, like buying an one-way air ticket and fly to somewhere where no one, nothing can ever locate me.
Its rare that i would feel like leaving home. Its not my home's fault. It has nth gotta do with my family members. I just wanna be alone. I enjoy the journey home alone, listening to my mp3, even if it means walking under the hot sun. I dun mind. I appreciate those moments of blank-outs, when I could not rmb what I wanted to say and do. Its a throbbing pain to be constantly reminded of the work I haven't done, or I dunno how they should be done. Or to be reminded of things and people that I dun wish to be reminded of. Or to be reminded of deadlines and expiry dates and whatever purposes those dates serve.
I admit I am lazy. I have worked hard for so many years, I can't wait to take a break. I hate to study. Actually I can't study. Cos at the end of the day, I rmb nth from what I've studied. I sucked at program writing..people can write the things that I can't write even thou we have studied the same thing.
I can't do practical work. My lab sucks, my driving sucks..anything hands-on = I sucked. So if I cant do hands-on work and I can't do brain work, what can I do?
It seems like I only know how to eat, sleep and do whatever that does not require any brain work. Thats equivalent to stupidity, good-for-nth, isn't it?
I wish to be happy and forget all the problems I have. But is that possible, really?
Its rare that i would feel like leaving home. Its not my home's fault. It has nth gotta do with my family members. I just wanna be alone. I enjoy the journey home alone, listening to my mp3, even if it means walking under the hot sun. I dun mind. I appreciate those moments of blank-outs, when I could not rmb what I wanted to say and do. Its a throbbing pain to be constantly reminded of the work I haven't done, or I dunno how they should be done. Or to be reminded of things and people that I dun wish to be reminded of. Or to be reminded of deadlines and expiry dates and whatever purposes those dates serve.
I admit I am lazy. I have worked hard for so many years, I can't wait to take a break. I hate to study. Actually I can't study. Cos at the end of the day, I rmb nth from what I've studied. I sucked at program writing..people can write the things that I can't write even thou we have studied the same thing.
I can't do practical work. My lab sucks, my driving sucks..anything hands-on = I sucked. So if I cant do hands-on work and I can't do brain work, what can I do?
It seems like I only know how to eat, sleep and do whatever that does not require any brain work. Thats equivalent to stupidity, good-for-nth, isn't it?
I wish to be happy and forget all the problems I have. But is that possible, really?
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